HOW do you explain death to a child? It could be the death of a grandparent or a parent, even. The child may seem too young to understand but some explanation should still be given for why the grandparent, parent, friend or pet is no longer in the home or no longer visits.
Assoc Prof Dr Teoh Hsien-Jin, head of the School of Health and Natural Sciences at Sunway University College, says: “Usually with younger children, we say so-and-so is sleeping and going away.
When the child asks, ‘Going where?’, then you usually say something like, ‘Going up to the sky’ and that usually explains what has happened in the event of a non-traumatic death.
“If the child is in late-kindergarten years up to primary school a ge, then it gets a bit more sophisticated. You’re not going to get away with just saying soand-so is asleep because then they’ll ask you why so-and-so is not going to wake up. You can then begin to introduce the concept of death and bereavement.
Usually we try and explain it from the point of view of a story. “If the child has lost a pet, don’t rush out and buy a new dog or cat immediately. Just leave it for a while. Let them get over it. A few months later, you might consider looking for another one.”
On ParenThots, he answers the many questions on explaining death to a child: should you take a child to a funeral, is it OK to let them see the body, what are some signs that the child is not coping well with the loss, and should there be minimum changes in the child’s life after this loss.
The Star,Wednesday May 6, 2009
No comments:
Post a Comment